The Fruit doesn't fall far from the Tree

Fifth Sunday of Easter
May 10, 2009
Mother’s Day
Year B
1 John 4:7-21
John 15:1-8
Fruit doesn’t fall far from the Tree


The relationship between a mother and child is the most basic, primary relationship of human kind. It is the relationship that forms who we are, the relationship that teaches us to love ourselves and others, it the relationship which tells who we should be in the world. There is no other relationship that is considered to as important as sacred as the relationship of mother and child.
Which is why I was surprised when the view decided to feature a woman who wrote a book on how she hated her mother for Mother’s Day. Friday – they featured the book Who do you think are by Alysa Meyers. In the book and in life, Myers relates that she always felt that her mother never loved her, and that she frankly never really cared for her mother. It was not necessarily an abusive relationship, but it was a relationship absent of love and care. After the book was published the author says that she has received lots of hate mail – people who could not accept the concept of someone admitting that they hated their mother. But in reading the reviews of the book, there were many others who praised her for her honesty.
You see the book was an attempt to get beyond her image of her mother and to get to know her mother as a human being. As she was able to uncover the details of her mothers life, she came to understand her mother and she came to understand their relationship. She discovered many things that she wished she had known when her mother was alive.
In her book she had the courage to do what many of us find that we have to do with all of our human relationships, especially if we want to be able to heal – to step aside and get to know the real person behind our perceptions and our feelings.
In her book, Alyssa Meyers talks about a box that she knew was in the back of her mothers closet. A box that she always felt held the clues to her mother and to their relationship. Of course in reading the reviews, they never tell what is in the box. But it helped her understand her mother.

Whatever our relationship, whatever our circumstance, whatever stage we are in our lives, there is someone in our lives – who is our mother, our primary relationship in the world.

And even for those of us who speak fondly of our mother, and who will say that we have or had a good relationship- if we think about it there were those rough times. Those times when we did not always see eye to eye.
Some elementary school students answered these questions about mothers. Why did God make mothers – she is the only one who knows where the scotch tape is, to help us out when we are being born. How did God make mothers - by magic plus superpowers and a whole lot of stirring. And why did God give you your mother and not some other mom – God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me. I think that answer has the deepest sense of wisdom in it. Somehow we are special, more special than anyone else to the one we call mother.
The deeper truth in that statement is the fact that God knew that was the person for us. We came into that person’s life for a reason. They are the person who would show us the definition of love.
The lesson of 1 John is that God is the ultimate source of all love. There is no way in life that we could ever know love, if it wasn’t for God. God and love are one and the same thing. God is the source of love, but God is also the essence of what love is all about. To know that we are loved is to know that there is a God in the world.
Rabbi Harold Kushner, the author of the book why bad things happen to good people says that in Hebrew God is referred to as a He, but that is just a function of language. Not a function of who God is. Kushner explains that he would never call God an it – so he uses the language to personalize and honor god by saying he. But The essence of God is thought of as both a mother and father. In Hebrew the male words for God refer to a God out there in heaven. The God which is present here with us on earth, the God we experience, know and understand, is referred to in female terms – as a caring and mothering God.
Isnt that the whole point of Jesus Christ coming into the world – so that we can know that God is here with us – in many forms and in many ways.
The bible says that the primary way that we know that God loves us, is that God sent God’s only son into the world. Jesus is the spirit of God with flesh – so that we could have that person to teach us the ways of God.
The presence of the holy spirit in our lives is even further proof that God loves us and cares for us. The presence of God is our assurance that no matter where we are and what we go through the unconditional love of God is always present. The gospel promises that if you abide in God, that God will abide in you. God is always with you no matter what.
Unfortunately in life, we just don’t know it. Things are so intense that we are sure God is not there. I talked with a woman this week, who in tears confessed that there is no way God could love her. Every day there was a different thing going wrong. And she was sure that god was punishing her, because she didn’t like to go to church. I had to assure her that God might want her to go to church, but god would never punish her for not going. No matter who we are – we are children of God – a God who cares. Just like this woman – we get so caught up in the details of our life that we lose sight of God’s abiding presence. We are so caught up in our pain, our unwillingness to understand that we forget to see the obvious. That God is there all of the time. It is like we are standing on a big x – we are looking all around for something that looks like God, and miss that fact that God is with us all of the time. X marks the spot. The place where we are standing or sitting is holy ground. The life that we are living is a holy expression of god‘s love for us and for the world. God is present in the air that we breathe, the thoughts that we think, the actions that we take. God is everywhere around us. God is leading every action that happens to us in life. After Jacob went through is struggle with God – it was only after it was over that he realized that surely God was in this place – and we didn’t even see it.
Jesus says I am the vine and your are the branches. We are always connected. If you abide in me, and I in you, ask for whatever you wish and it shall be granted. God is always there and God always care.
Sometimes we need someone to point out the presence of God for us. Where ever the presence is – there is the love of God. For many of us – that person was like a mother to us. The one who cared for us, the one who pointed out the x of life and showed us the way forward. We can be grateful for that person whomever they were.
Because what strikes me, is how many people there are in the world who don’t believe that God loves them. They don’t believe that they are children of God, and they don’t see God’s presence in their situation. God is ever blessing them – and all they see are the bad things. Sort of like the author and her mother. She saw the bad things about her mother- but she never saw the obvious that her mother loved her the best way that she could – with what she had to give. Sort of like the women I talked to who saw all of the bad things in her life, but never stopped to see her blessings in the midst of it. Do you know how many people there are in the world who are asking if God really loves them? Who don’t know that they are loved children of God?
In order to witness God’s presence, you have to know God. The only way to know God - is to know that you are loved. The only way to know love is to be loved. To have someone who mothered you , cared for you and pointed out the presence for you.
Today is mothers day – the day we point out the love in our lives. The day we acknowledge that we have been loved in some way. And we honor the presence of love in our lives. In that sense every day is mothers day. But every day we are also called to perfect our love. Perfect not in being without blame. But in being complete. Where there is woundedness to bring forgiveness, where there is lack of understanding to bring clarity, where there is hatred to bring love. Where there is someone who asks the question does someone love me, to pull them aside and show them the x – which proves that we all stand in holy ground and that the love of God abides in us all.
I leave you with this poem…
in the secret places, where fears and doubts litter the floor of my heart, you come along sweeping them into your broom and dustpan, exposing the bright foundation of faith; you sit me on your lap, placing your hand over mine, stretching out my finger, so, together, we trace the words in the stories of grace and hope told (and lived out) in each generation; you could roam all the ends of creation, but choose to hang out with me (!) grabbing me by the hand when i am about to dart out into the traffic on Sin Street; lifting me into the air to reach the highest branch so i can swing back-and-forth on the Arm of your love. Mother . . . . . .may i always lose my heart to you.

Today, may you not only know that- but also be that.
Amen.