Help us Accept Each Other

September 4, 2011
Year A
“Help Us Accept Each Other”
Romans 13:8-14
Matthew 18:15-20
12th Sunday After Pentecost

Sanibonani – that means hello to you all in Zulu – the language of blacks in South Africa. And you would respond…..
Another important zulu word is ubuntu. Nelson Mandela and Bishop Desmond Tutu have made this word popular around the world. It is a very important word in all of African culture. It means I am because you are. It means that my humanity is tied up in who you are. It means I am a human being because of you. You define my life.

It is a spirit of community, togetherness. It drives us to help others. It is also the definition of love. Because true love is not a feeling, or emotion. True love is who we are as a church, how we treat one another, how loyal we are to the whole and not just to some of the parts. The way in which we love one another is a reflection of God.

Over the next few weeks in our lessons we will deal with who we are as a church and what Jesus calls the church to be. We will talk about how we are supposed to treat one another. Matthew 15-35 will deal with the very topic. Christ realized that the only way his disciples could carry on his work was to work together in community. If there were things that stood in the way of loving one another, there were things that stood in the middle of the mission.
Ubuntu is unity.
But I also need to say that not all unity is healthy. There are times when we are united by our own survival and self interest. There are times when we are united because we have a secret. Sometimes we are united because of unhealthy emotions.
Only unity in Christ is ubuntu – true love.
We only have two more chapters of Romans until we start to deal with the four chapters of Phillippians. In Romans, Paul is telling new Christians how to be the body of Christ in the face of Roman oppression. In Matthew Jesus is preparing the disciples for the persecution ahead. It is interesting that Jesus mentions the word church in these verses, and yet Jesus would not have known what a church was. Matthew was writing in the second century of the early church. There too was a small struggling community, struggling against the circumstances of life.
Jesus knew, and Paul came to realize that the biggest threat to the church was not out there somewhere. It continues to be right here in this room. It is ourselves, and the ways in which we treat one another. And the ways that we explain away the behavior of others, and we allow others to be treated.
It is inevitable – whether we are a family, a church or just a gathering. Wherever 2or 3 are gathered, there is going to be some form of woundedness, someone is going to feel hurt, someone is going to feel offended, someone is going to feel victimized. Whereever 2or 3 are gathered there is going to be sin – jealousy, resentment, nosiness. Sin is something in your life that at the moment is more important to you than God and God’s commandment to love one another. Romans 13:8 says – Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The 10 commandments are instructions to love one another is a world that shows no love. Sermon on the mount – sermon on unconditional love. There is really no way that you can escapte the law of love.
In the fall there is this new show coming on called Revenge. I am dying to watch it. It is a series about a beautiful young woman whose father was killed. The tag line of the show says this is not a show about forgiveness. I have been scratching my head all summer dying to understand what that means. Even the Hebrew bible says an eye for an eye. In other worlds once you kill the person that killed your father – its over, the debt has been paid and it is time to move on. Revenge for revenge sake is crazy thinking. And people who walk around thinking that it is their job to seek revenge become crazy soul sick people. They not only put their souls in a very dangerous place, they become dangerous people. Forgiveness and reconciliation is not about the other person, it is always about you. It cleans your soul and allows you to move on. Forgiveness and reconciliation are the major part of God’s law of love. There is no escaping it, and we all have to come to that realization in life whether we want to or not. Every story is a story of forgiveness and reconciliation eventually. Creation is God’s law, justice is God’s law, mercy is God’s law and love is God’s law. You cant escpae it no matter how hard you try.
Where 2or 3 are gathered there is sin – but in the midst of it all there is also love. Because there is Jesus Christ in the midst.
If you look at Matthew 18 – it spells out the rules for confronting sin within the Christian community. Confronting sin means stop pretending that there is nothing wrong. Whatever it is, it needs to come out in the open.
Things that live in darkness, secrecy and unspoken understandings become the devil’s playground. When the meeting in the parking lot becomes more important than the meeting at the table, something is wrong. Problems that are never dealt with continue to fester and get worse. When they come to the light of Christ – they are resolved and they go away. Matthew 16 says that there is a process to the way that you confront. First you come face to face with the person and you confront them alone to tell them what they did wrong (or what you think they did wrong). Then you being a witness along with you, and then you confront them with the entire church. And you pray through the whole process. Another person put it this way…
1. Put Your Complaint into Words
2. Tell the Person about It in Person
3. Counsel with Other Wise Christians.
4. Make Use of the Christian Fellowship.
5. Never Give up Trying


The most important thing to remember is that you cant have confrontation without reconciliation. The point of the process is to learn to forgive.
A story of 4 friends
Four friends gathered for lunch after church as they did every Sunday. They went into their favorite café to talk. They had gathered for so long – that the conversation could go anywhere. They could be talking about their gardens and which vegetables didn’t come up this year. They could be talking about the new sewing project one had started, they could be talking about the new garage one just had designed. Then the conversation flows to more practical issues – the sermon they heard, the music the choir sang/
Today as the four picked their seat – one noticed that there was a young man at the table next to them – sitting all alone. She seemed to have recognized him – she could see the family resemblance – she must have known his father.
But she too immediately got into the conversation. The conversation always goes from church business to church gossip. And she had a good one to talk about – Patty. Patty was in the choir with her, but when she saw her at the grocery store last Saturday she did not even speak. It seems that every since Patty inherited that money from uncle, she has become very stuck up. She doesn’t talk to anyone. But this time our friend was offended. She did not appreciate this treatment at all.
Did you speak to Patty? Asks one of the friends. This person obviously didn’t understand the situation. If you noticed what was going on with Patty did you speak to Patty. As the friend looks away – she notices the gaze of the young man at the next table – he is looking right at her, his eyes seem sad, even a little concerned. But he is very quiet.
As her attention goes back to her friends- and the conversation she is upset but she listens to their advice. Maybe you should just go to Patty and ask her what is going on. You never know until you talk with her. If you sense there there is a problem talk with her – afterall, we are church members. Jesus calls us to forgive one another and to resolve our differences. When we feel that we have been hurt – Jesus asks us not to dwell in the pain – but to go directly to the person and resolve the issue. If you cant resolve the issue between the two of you – take some others with you. Afterall – Jesus reminds us that he is always with us – where two or three are gathered his presence is there.
And suddenly it came to her – she recognized the young man at the table- he did indeed look just like his father. Whom she knew so well also. But she also realized why her relationships with those in her church were so important. Because wherever those relationships were present – so was that young man who looked so familiar.

That young man was Jesus Christ himself. Jesus says that where 2 or 3 are gathered, so is Christ. The combination of us and Christ unleashes a powerful spirit. In the face of God we have to put aside our selfishness, our pride, our predjudice and the the holy spirit reign in the situation.
You have to realize that you love God more than you love being right. Because whatever it is that hold your spirit, hold you.
There is a Russian saying that we need to make peace with people and make war with our sin. Sometimes even in the church we like to do the opposite.

Forgiveness is a choice to put our future in God’s hands. Oprah said forgiveness is finally realizing that whatever it was that happened in the past, there is nothing you can do to change it. I would add that forgiveness is the decision to put it all in God’s hands. Forgiveness is the choice to leave the past behind and to live in God’s future. Christ calls us not to get so caught up in the way things are, and to embrace the way things can be. To create heaven here on earth – just in your attitude. To free ourselves of whatever it is that is holding us back.

True Freedom in Forgiveness
When Bill Clinton met Nelson Mandela for the first time, he had a question on his mind: "When you were released from prison, Mr. Mandela," the former President said, "I woke my daughter at three o'clock in the morning. I wanted her to see this historic event." Then President Clinton zeroed in on his question: "As you marched from the cellblock across the yard to the gate of the prison, the camera focused in on your face. I have never seen such anger, and even hatred, in any man as was expressed on your face at that time. That's not the Nelson Mandela I know today," said Clinton. "What was that about?"

Mandela answered, "I'm surprised that you saw that, and I regret that the cameras caught my anger. As I walked across the courtyard that day I thought to myself, ‘They've taken everything from you that matters. Your cause is dead. Your family is gone. Your friends have been killed. Now they're releasing you, but there's nothing left for you out there.' And I hated them for what they had taken from me. Then, I sensed an inner voice saying to me, ‘Nelson! For twenty-seven years you were their prisoner, but you were always a free man! Don't allow them to make you into a free man, only to turn you into their prisoner!'"
You can never be free to be a whole person if you are unable to forgive.
Ubuntu – I can only be as human as I allow you to be.

We all have the power to bind and the power to set free. Whatever you are still holding onto – is still holding on to you. Whether it is the past, a person, an injustice, a resentment – God is asking you right now to let it go. That is the law of God’s love.

With faith comes goodness, with goodness comes knowledge, with knowledge comes self control, with self control comes endurance, with endurance comes godliness, with godliness comes mutual affection, with mutual affection comes love. Let us pray..