Can't we all Get Along?

September 10, 2017 Matthew 18:15-20 Can’t we all Get Along? 14th Sunday After Pentecost Children’s Sermon: object: A referee’s whistle. Lessons: Boys and Girls, I have with me this whistle (blow on the whistle). This is the kind of whistle a referee would use to stop play in a ball game. I’ll bet sometimes your mother would like to have a whistle to blow if you have brothers or sisters in your home together not just because you’re noisy, but because brothers and sisters sometimes fight with each other. Do you know of any brothers and sisters who fight with each other? I’m not going to ask you if you fight with your brother or sister, but sometimes that happens. Sometimes we can have problems with brothers and sisters; sometimes there are jealousies between younger brothers and sisters when they want to wear something that is yours. Maybe you’re tired and they get in your way or you get in their way, and you get very angry with each other. That is simply part of being in a family it is not good and we hope to outgrow it. We have to really try to be patient and loving and kind, but we can do it. Our lesson today is about maintaining relationships. One way we do this is to forgive one another. When your brother or sister does something you don’t like, do you stay angry for a long time? I hope not. I hope you can forgive them and let whatever made you mad slip from your memory so you can be loving again toward your brother or sister. That’s the way God wants us to be. I hope you never let your anger get out of hand, but that you keep loving each other in spite of the little difficulties that are just part of being a family. Matthew 18:15-20Common English Bible (CEB) Sinning brother or sister 15 “If your brother or sister sins against you, go and correct them when you are alone together. If they listen to you, then you’ve won over your brother or sister. 16 But if they won’t listen, take with you one or two others so that every word may be established by the mouth of two or three witnesses.[a] 17 But if they still won’t pay attention, report it to the church. If they won’t pay attention even to the church, treat them as you would a Gentile and tax collector. 18 I assure you that whatever you fasten on earth will be fastened in heaven. And whatever you loosen on earth will be loosened in heaven. 19 Again I assure you that if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, then my Father who is in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, I’m there with them.” Footnotes: a. Matthew 18:16 Deut 19:15 Common English Bible (CEB) Copyright © 2011 by Common English Bible For the most part, I am a pretty easy going person, so I am a pretty easy going pastor. I try not to get into habit of arguing with parishioners. One of the worst disagreements that I had at a was at a church council meeting, when one of the leaders stated that she did not need to come to church in order to be a Christian. She loved the church, but she did not love the people in the church, so she would just as soon live on a deserted island and still worship God. I told her that you cannot be a Christian without some connection to the church. The whole point of Christianity is about learning to live with people that you would not ordinarily associate with. If at some point in your churchgoing you have not had the little nerve at the core of your being touched and disturbed, then you are not doing it right. Jesus’ whole message to us, is the way in which we respond when we have been irritated is what determines whether we are a Christian. Did we use the tools of human nature to respond, or did we use the lessons that we learned in the bible to deal with the situation? Human nature tells us to be hurt and angry, God’s nature tells us to be loving and understanding. In order for us to achieve our mission as the church, we have to rise above our personal hates. Conflict is a part of life – it happens all of the time. Disharmony in Worship There was a church where the pastor and the minister of music were not getting along. As time went by, this began to spill over into the worship service. The first week the pastor preached on commitment and how we all should dedicate ourselves to the service of God. The second week the pastor preached on tithing and how we all should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The director led the song, "Jesus Paid it All." The third week the pastor preached on gossiping and how we should all watch our tongues. The music director led the song, "I Love to Tell the Story." With all this going on, the pastor became very disgusted over the situation and the following Sunday told the congregation that he was considering resigning. The musician led the song, "Oh Why Not Tonight?" As it came to pass, the pastor did indeed resign. The next week he informed the church that it was Jesus who led him there and it was Jesus who was taking him away. The music leader led the song, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." King Duncan, Collected Sermons, www.Sermons.com Conflict is a part of the church. As we all gather together we have to learn how to be a united body. United to serve Christ. For us to be Christ for the world. The mission of the church is to make disciples for all nations. But in order for us to achieve that mission, we have to rise above our individual differences. In order to do that we have to have a system for dealing with those differences. In the modern world we live in illusion that we are individuals and that we have complete control over our lives. Corporate Effects of Sin A man is on a boat. He is not alone, but acts as if he were. One night, without warning, he suddenly begins to cut a hole under his seat. The other people on the boat shout and shriek at him: "What on earth are you doing? Have you gone mad? Do you want to sink us all? Are you trying to destroy us?" Calmly, the man answers: "I don't understand what you want. What I'm doing is none of your business. I paid my way. I'm not cutting under your seat. Leave me alone!" What the fanatic (and the egotist) will not accept, but what you and I cannot forget, is that all of us are in the same boat. Elie Wiesel, Parade Magazine. That is why we gather together every Sunday to sing and worship and to hear the gospel and a sermon. Today we really can sit at home and read the bible, and watch tv and say that we have been to church. That was not the case in Jesus time. The letters that we read as scripture were not written to individuals, they were written to the community. In the early days, people gathered togetherto hear the words of the bible and to compte,plate what it means for them. When we hear of spiritual gifts, gifts and resources are not given to persons, they are given to the community. There is no I without a we. What happens to one affect what happens to all. I exist because we exist. We have heard the world shalom. Shalom means more than peace. Shalom means where there is justice amongst the people there will be peace, and where there is peace and justice there is wellbeing. Peace, justice and wellbeing go hand in hand. The only where you can get shalom is in the presence of God. As long as God is the center of community everything else falls into place. That is what church is – a community in which God is the center. Are You Willing to Live in Hell? In his book The Great Divorce, C. S. Lewis, the great Christian apologist, draws a stark picture of hell. Hell is like a great, vast city, Lewis says, a city inhabited only at its outer edges, with rows and rows of empty houses in the middle. These houses in the middle are empty because everyone who once lived there has quarreled with the neighbors and moved. Then, they quarreled with the new neighbors and moved again, leaving the streets and the houses of their old neighborhoods empty and barren. That, Lewis says, is how hell has gotten so large. It is empty at its center and inhabited only at the outer edges, because everyone chose distance instead of honest confrontation when it came to dealing with their relationships. “Look, she’s the one who said that about me. Let her come and apologize!” “We may go to the same church, but that doesn’t mean I’ve got to share a pew with that so-and-so!” “It’ll be a cold day in July before I accept his apology.” That’s all well and good, I suppose... if you don’t mind living in hell. Are we really so willing to give up our relationships with others – relationships that have come about and been forged by our desire to follow Jesus? Nowhere, and I do mean nowhere, in the New Testament gospels will you find Jesus saying that the first order of things is always to be right. But he does have a great deal to say about forgiveness, about relationship, about reconciliation, about service and humility and vulnerability. He makes it sounds like family, doesn’t he? Randy L. Hyde, Two or Three A lot of people miss the context of this verse in Matthew 18 – where two or three are gathered I am with them. We tend to use this verse as an excuse. When an event was not as well attended as we anticipate we say it does not matter because where two or three are gathered. This verse is telling us to trust in the presence of Christ. To make sure that we make Christ the focus of all of our gatherings. The presence of Christ brings peace, justice and wellbeing to even the most difficult of situations. Jesus says what you bind or loose here in heaven you bind or lose on earth. In other words who we are and how we treat people makes a difference. There is a saying to never judge a person alone – to trust the judgement of the community. A lot of people actually criticize this verse and wonder how Jesus could have said this. He is talking about bringing our problems before the church – but there was no church in Jesus time. But there was community. And jesus encourages us to truly be a community with God in the center. Jesus also tells usto treat those who don’t listen to the community as tax collectors and gentiles. But how does Jesus treat taxcollectors and gentiles? Does he kick them out and never speak to them or does he understand them love them and never give up on them? As we continue in chapter 18 the directive gets even harder. Peter asks if there is a limit to how many times we forgive a person. And Jesus says no. You keep on forgiving and being understanding. And there is no person who is beyond forgiveness. I have grown pretty mellow in my years as a pastor. In my first church I was in constant battle with the congregation. But that took a toll on me. For the last 20 of my 22 years in ministry I have worked with the Lombard Mennonite Peace Center on dealing with church conflict. In order to keep getting my money – they remind me that we never graduate from conflict. But that forgiveness is a gift that we give ourselves, not the other person. Where there is justice there will be peace and where there is peace there will be wellbeing. And we can only have peace, justice and wellbeing when God is in the center of what we do. What is it that you need to be whole and complete? What is it that you need to say and get off of your chest? Who is is that you need to be reconciled with? Where do you need the community of Christ to help you to move forward? You know a lot of us are distressed at how individualistic our society has become. You can almost live isolated on a deserted island. You can interact with people all alone in a little room, without ever talking with someone else. Using your computer can teach you to talk to others, it can even teach you a little bit about community. But the one thing that you cannot learn from the internet is how to love one another, how to be a supportive community, or how to be reconciled with someone that you need to forgive. How many cyber bullying incidents have ever been solved through an email. As a matter of fact, impersonal communication makes our differences worse, not better. Jesus is teaching us how to live face to face together. Building Bridges Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in their 40 years of working together. It began with a small misunderstanding, and grew into a major difference, and finally exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. One morning, there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days' work," he said. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there that I could help with? Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my younger brother! Last week, there was a meadow between us, but he took his bulldozer and dug a small river between us. Well I'm going to do him one better. See that pile of old lumber? I want you to build an 8 foot high fence between us. Then I won't need to see his place or his face anymore." The carpenter said, "Show me the nails and the tools, and I'll do a good job for you." The older brother had to go to town, so he left for the day. At sunset, when he returned, this eyes opened wide, and his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all. The carpenter had built a bridge that stretched from one side of the river to the other, with handrails and all! And his younger brother, was coming toward them, his hand outstretched. "You're quite the guy," he said, "after all I've said and done." The two brothers met in the middle, and shook each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter leaving. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother. "I'd love to," the carpenter said, "but I have many more bridges to build." When you and I come to the end of our days, just remember this: God won't ask what kind of car we drove, but He will ask how many people we helped get where they needed to go. He won't ask how big our house was, but He will ask how many people we welcomed into our home. God won't ask what neighborhood we lived in, but He will ask how we treated our neighbors. And He won't ask how many fences we made, but He will ask how many bridges we built. Bob Tasler, Restoration: Confronting the Brother What bridges do you need to build? Other illustrations…… Corporate Effects of Sin A man is on a boat. He is not alone, but acts as if he were. One night, without warning, he suddenly begins to cut a hole under his seat. The other people on the boat shout and shriek at him: "What on earth are you doing? Have you gone mad? Do you want to sink us all? Are you trying to destroy us?" Calmly, the man answers: "I don't understand what you want. What I'm doing is none of your business. I paid my way. I'm not cutting under your seat. Leave me alone!" What the fanatic (and the egotist) will not accept, but what you and I cannot forget, is that all of us are in the same boat. Elie Wiesel, Parade Magazine. Discipleship in Community Very few people are expert in anything all by themselves. They need a supporting community. Do you know a good musician who was not trained, nurtured and sustained by the music community? Show me an athlete who achieves excellence all alone, apart from the athletic community. Very few wise men become so without the accumulated wisdom of the centuries as expressed in colleges and universities and libraries. Medical people are more like ensembles and symphonies than soloists. What business tycoon does it all on his own without dedicated experts in finance, engineering, personnel, and marketing? Excellence requires participation in, and support of, a community of like-minded people. Likewise in the church -- a forerunner of the new kingdom. Very few achieve Christian maturity all by themselves. Seldom is the Bible studied diligently without the aid of scholars and teachers. Rarely are people led to generosity by their own impulses. Maurice A. Fetty, The Divine Advocate, CSS Publishing Company, Inc. _______________________________________________ Forgiveness: Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. E. H. Chapin A congregation is not to be like the secular world. Instead of suing or chastising, the faithful are to give the offender a chance. Yes, they are to be confronted, but not humiliated in public. Rather than be judged or prosecuted they are to be given a chance to repent. The church is to avoid embarrassment and help people feel less ashamed. This requires great sensitivity. The way of the church is through reconciliation. For to be redeemed means to help a person return to wholeness and to be at peace with one’s self and one’s neighbors. Therefore, the church is to make every effort to give those who stray an opportunity to right their wrongs. Yes, we have standards. Yes, there are things that people do to one another that are harmful. Yes, even some behavior can damage the life of the church. Nevertheless, the church is being faithful when its people make every effort to offer love, forgiveness and support. In Matthew, Jesus describes a process that is different from the tradition of the times. Instead of casting stones, rushing the accused off to a local authority and making a person’s shameful act front page news, the faith community makes an intentional effort to give the offender a chance to turn their life around. Keith Wagner, Living Without Shame An 800 Year Grudge Many years ago, Colonel Jeff O'Leary served as part of the UN peacekeeping forces in the Sinai Peninsula region. While there, he encountered a number of Bedouin people, a nomadic people who travel this desert region. One afternoon, Colonel O'Leary had tea with a group of Bedouin men. Colonel O'Leary couldn't help but notice that his host kept staring at a man who was tending his camels. The host pointed out the man and hissed at Colonel O'Leary, "Do you see that man? He is a camel thief." Colonel O'Leary wanted to know why his host would hire a camel thief to tend his camels, so he began asking questions. Turns out that in his host's eyes this man was a camel thief because he came from a family of camel thieves. Why were they a family of camel thieves? Because one of their ancestors had once stolen some camels from this man's family. How long ago, O'Leary asked. Eight hundred years ago, the Bedouin host replied. For eight hundred years, the hosts' family and this man's family had hated each other, because one man had stolen the other man's camels. For eight hundred years, the host's family had passed down the story of the camel thief. Forgiveness was not an option for them. In the Bedouin host's mind, the crime was just as horrible as if it had occurred yesterday, and this man was just as much a thief as his ancestor who had actually stolen the camel. King Duncan, Collected Sermons, www.Sermons.com Healing in Your Heart Penelope J. Stokes tells about her reaction to a scene in the motion picture, Waiting to Exhale. A woman, victimized by her husband's infidelity, gathers up his clothes, his shoes, his personal belongings, and stuffs them into his expensive Mercedes. When the closets and drawers are empty, she returns to the car, sets a torch to the contents, and stands there with tears streaming down her cheeks as the evidence of her marriage goes up in flames. "Most people in the audience cheered," says Penelope Stokes. "I cried," she says, "because her defiant gesture of closure did nothing to heal the woundedness of her heart." A bit of revenge may have lifted that woman's heart for a moment. But to move toward healing, she would have to learn--as we all must learn--how to forgive. King Duncan, Collected Sermons, www.Sermons.com A congregation is not to be like the secular world. Instead of suing or chastising, the faithful are to give the offender a chance. Yes, they are to be confronted, but not humiliated in public. Rather than be judged or prosecuted they are to be given a chance to repent. The church is to avoid embarrassment and help people feel less ashamed. This requires great sensitivity. The way of the church is through reconciliation. For to be redeemed means to help a person return to wholeness and to be at peace with one’s self and one’s neighbors. Therefore, the church is to make every effort to give those who stray an opportunity to right their wrongs. Yes, we have standards. Yes, there are things that people do to one another that are harmful. Yes, even some behavior can damage the life of the church. Nevertheless, the church is being faithful when its people make every effort to offer love, forgiveness and support. In Matthew, Jesus describes a process that is different from the tradition of the times. Instead of casting stones, rushing the accused off to a local authority and making a person’s shameful act front page news, the faith community makes an intentional effort to give the offender a chance to turn their life around. Keith Wagner, Living Without Shame We Must Be Saved by Hope Reinhold Niebuhr, in The Irony of American History, writes, "Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime: therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone, therefore we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our standpoint. Therefore we must be saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness." Jerry L. Schmalenberger, When Christians Quarrel, CSS Publishing Company, Inc.