How to get Angry

Rev, Harriette Cross First United Methodist Church of Wilmington August 8, 2021 Ephesians 4:25 – 5:2 How to get angry 11th Sunday after Pentecost Year B Opening Song Welcome Call to Worship Leader: It is the beginning of a new school year, God is a God of new beginnings and new creations. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, new life, blessed it and called it good. People: We give thanks for a new year for new beginnings. We give thanks that you called it good. Leader: In the beginning, the heavens shone forth a star when our savior was born. In the beginning of his ministry the heavens opened up and called him God’s beloved. People: We give thanks that you know our pathways and what it means to be human. We give thanks that you call us your beloved children. Leader: O God of new beginnings, new life and new journeys – you set Abrahams and Sarah into a new land. You led Moses, Aaron and Miriam our of Egypt and into liberation, you led your son, our savior to the earth, to the cross and into resurrection. People: Walk with us, we pray we as we enter into a new year, a new path and new opportunities. Amen. Song Take my life and let it be Consecrated UMH 399 Stewardship Moment Community speaker one: We pray for all children—for their playfulness, for their curiosity and for their joyfulness. We pray, as they go beyond the boundaries of home, that they will find strong and true friendships. We pray especially for those called to lead and to care for them. Grant O God that our children and the adults who minister with them might grow in your love. Community speaker two: We pray for all young people, for the ways they test boundaries and question authority. We pray, O God that they will continue to develop and to use the gifts you have given them. We pray for those called to teach, to lead, to coach, and to mentor our young people. Grant your wisdom and generous spirit to these youth and adults as they commit to grow righteously in this complex world. Community speaker three: We pray for all college students, for the questions they are facing about their future. We pray for those called to lead and to care for them—for professors, counselors, administrators, and advisors. Nurture all students and leaders, O God, in communities of fellowship and protect them from isolation and loneliness. Grant your courage to these young adults and adults as they engage in critical learning and discovery for the stewardship of our world. Community speaker four: We pray for all those who teach and lead, O God. Inspire them with creativity and commitment. Give them energy to continue teaching and bringing forth the best from their students. Help us to appreciate their efforts and to treat them with respect. Provide opportunities, O God, for their refreshment and renewal. Community speaker five: We pray for all adults as they endeavor to live faithful lives in their homes and in their workplaces. We pray for all who are parents, stepparents, guardians, caregivers, and grandparents of children, youth, and young adults. Help them to find the time to sit and to listen to their young people. Give them hearts and minds filled with patience, understanding and wisdom. Enable them to share your wisdom and love, O God, in word and by example. Congregation Prays: We pray for all those who learn—children, youth, young adults and adults. Keep them from being discouraged when facing the trials of the day. Instill in them a desire to grow in wisdom and understanding. Grant them the discipline of study and the ability to concentrate. We pray for all of us as learners, O God. We know that we never stop learning about your love and faithfulness. We thank you, O God our creator, for teaching us through your word and through your son, Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray. Prayer of Thanksgiving: Lord bless these gifts. Let these physical gifts be symbols of the love and support we give to the children of our community throughout the year. Help us to look upon every child in our community as one of our own, helping them to grow in character and knowledge. Amen. Scripture Ephesians 4:25- 5:2 25 Therefore, after you have gotten rid of lying, Each of you must tell the truth to your neighbor[a] because we are parts of each other in the same body. 26 Be angry without sinning.[b] Don’t let the sun set on your anger. 27 Don’t provide an opportunity for the devil. 28 Thieves should no longer steal. Instead, they should go to work, using their hands to do good so that they will have something to share with whoever is in need. 29 Don’t let any foul words come out of your mouth. Only say what is helpful when it is needed for building up the community so that it benefits those who hear what you say. 30 Don’t make the Holy Spirit of God unhappy—you were sealed by him for the day of redemption. 31 Put aside all bitterness, losing your temper, anger, shouting, and slander, along with every other evil. 32 Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ. 5 Therefore, imitate God like dearly loved children. 2 Live your life with love, following the example of Christ, who loved us and gave himself for us. He was a sacrificial offering that smelled sweet to God. Sermon How to get Angry It reminds me of the story I like to call “The Dean’s Dilemma.” An angel appears at a college faculty meeting and tells the dean, “In return for your unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward you with your choice of infinite wealth, infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty.” Without hesitating, the dean says, “Give me infinite wisdom!” “Done!” says the angel before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. All heads now turn to the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. “Well,” says a colleague, “say something brilliant.” The dean stands with a blank expression on his face, looks around the table, and confesses, “I should have taken the money.” (1) We laugh, but how many of us would have a hard time making a choice between those three things? Wealth and beauty are important in our culture. They are noticeable. They offer a way to “keep score.” But wisdom—what difference does that make? Wisdom isn’t going to get you a nicer car, or a bigger paycheck. Wisdom won’t win you any awards or make you the life of the party. And yet, there are so many verses in the Bible about the value of wisdom. In fact, the Bible makes it clear that the way of the foolish person leads to emptiness and even death, while the way of a wise person leads to joy, peace and eternal life. So, if an angel suddenly appeared to you and offered you the choice of infinite wealth, infinite beauty or infinite wisdom, which would you choose? The choice gets a little easier now, doesn’t it? When I heard this story, I had to stop and think about it a moment. I know that the bible says that Solomon asked for wisdom and was given everything else along with it, but I think I would just want the money – I don’t know that I would value wisdom. Being smart is not necessarily profitable, it also is not really exciting. The epistle lessons give great advice on how to life, but they are not exciting because there are no parables to attach to them. The writer of Ephesians is very much aware of all of the conflicts and troubles that we face in the world. He also knows that sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error before we settle on doing the right things. He gives good advice on what it means to be wise and to live a righteous life. the book of Ephesians is not so much about being a goody too shoo – but how to handle real life problems in a wise way. When we finally realize that imitating God in all things is good for us, we get started in a new journey. Every day is a new beginning. Today, we think about starting a new school year – it is a new beginning for all of us. As I was preparing for the blessing of the back packs I found a prayer that said everything that I would want to say and pray for. It mentioned the role all of us play in school life. But I chose not to use the prayer because it used a curse word for the word anger. I have never known anyone to use a curse word in a prayer. After thinking about it I thought that would defeat the purpose of my whole sermon. We go to church in order to learn how to not use curse words when we are angry. How to express our anger is a major point in this scripture. Verse 26 expressly tells us that there is nothing wrong with being angry – anger is a normal part of life. Not only is it okay for us to be angry – Jesus got angry pretty frequently. Anger is not the problem it is how we express our anger that becomes the problem. Do we use our anger to strike out at a person or situation, or do we use our anger to change the situation. Jesus turned a whole community on its edge, just by getting angry and saying that things need to be done differently. We should never let our anger interfere with our relationships. n the first place, we can recognize the tremendous harm we do to ourselves through being angry. E. Stanley Jones once reminded a person that "a rattlesnake, if cornered, will sometimes become so angry that it will bite itself." That is exactly what the harboring of hate and resentment against others is: a biting of oneself. We think that we are harming others in holding these spites and hates, but the deeper harm is to ourselves.3 What happens to us when we get angry? Hate pumps up our blood pressure. More sugar pours into our system. The heart beats faster. More adrenaline is secreted to dilate the pupils of the eyes, and chemical changes occur in the blood. Even tissue changes take place. In fact, a good optometrist will not examine the eyes of an angry person. You see, anger distorts the retina through abnormal blood flow. Consequently, it is correct to say that a person who is angry most of the time is a sick person. The first part of that formula is this: look inward. That is, take care of what is inside you. Consider those words again, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.” Do you have any of those negative emotions within your heart or mind? Let’s face it. There are many otherwise committed Christians who have a great deal of anger within them. There are committed Christians who are quite bitter. There are others with malice in their hearts. Paul asks us to look within at any negative emotions that may dwell there. The late great radio personality Paul Harvey once told about a medical student who was doing a rotation in toxicology at a poison control center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured the mother that the ants were not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. The medical student told this mother that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right way. (2) Anger is like ant poison. It needs to be dealt with immediately or it could cause serious damage to our soul. Nowhere in the scriptures does it say that this is easy, but it is possible. Before sitting in the electric chair, Sonnier said, “Mr. LeBlanc, I want to ask your forgiveness for what me and Eddie done,” and Lloyd LeBlanc nodded his head to signal a forgiveness he had already given. LeBlanc said that when he arrived with sheriff’s deputies there in the cane field to identify his son, he knelt by his dead boy and prayed the Lord’s Prayer. “Our Father, who art in heaven . . .” He said that when he came to the words: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” he did not halt or equivocate. “Whoever did this, I forgive them.” But he acknowledged that it was a struggle to overcome the feelings of bitterness and revenge that welled up within him from time to time, especially as he remembered David’s birthday year by year. It was like he was losing him all over again: David at 20, David at 25, David getting married, David standing at the back door with his little ones clustered around his knees, grown up David, a man like himself, whom he will never know. “Forgiveness is never going to be easy,” says Sister Prejean. “Each day it must be prayed for and struggled for and won.” (3) I don’t know any other way for us to forgive and accept others who have done us wrong than to remember that God has accepted us and forgiven us. The ultimate help for us in meeting the challenges of each day is not only to look inward or outward, but also to look upward. If we are to live a new life, if we are to be new people, we must be aware of those emotions within us that must be kept under control, we must have our eyes open to the opportunities for service and witness through kindness and tenderheartedness and forgiveness directed toward the people that we meet. But we must also focus our eyes on Him who comes to us with love, forgiveness, and mercy and grace. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” The advice of Ephesians 4 - Put away falsehood - Be angry but don’t sin - Give up taking things that don’t belong to us - Let no evil talk come out of your mouth - Do not frustrate the holy Spirit - Be imitators of Christ - Finally live in love If we strive to do those things every day – then every day is a new beginning, because we do not let nature take its course, we allow the love of Christ to work in the world. Anger and revenge do not take over our lives – but we have a spirit of joy that makes all of the difference in the world. - - They say you cannot smile without cheering yourself up a little. Likewise, you cannot perform a random act of kindness without feeling as if your own troubles have been lightened if only because the world has become a slightly better place. And you cannot be a recipient without feeling a shock, a pleasant jolt. If you were one of those rush-hour drivers who found your bridge fare paid, who knows what you might have been inspired to do for someone else later? Might you wave someone on in the intersection? Would you smile at a tired clerk? Or could you do something larger or greater? - Some folks will have great difficulty understanding this process, but not us Christians. After all we have been recipients of the greatest kindness, that act of love that brought the God of the universe to a manger in Bethlehem, a sinless life on the hills of Judea, a sacrifice on a hill called Calvary. His kindness continues as he sustains us through his body, the church, and as he nourishes us at his table. This same one, through the apostle Paul, told us to "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us" (vv. 4:32—5:2). - In the 70’s there was a saying that gained popularity – practice random acts of kindness. Last week I went to the new drive through at McDonalds- those double drive through always frustrate me, because you have to make sure that you don’t pull up at the same time as the other person in the other lane. Sure enough it happened, we pulled off at the same time. Not wanting to have an accident, I stopped and let the other car go in front of me. As I pulled up to pay for my meal – the cashier had to go and get her manager – the person in front of me paid for my meal – so now it is my turn to spread the love and help someone else. Maybe wisdom - wisdom about the ways of God does pay off. Prayer Thank you, God, for new opportunities to learn and grow whether it be in an actual classroom, a virtual classroom, or from our homes. Be with our teachers, leaders, caregivers, and administrators as they guide us into the new school year. Give them the tools and energy to create engaging ways for all of us to learn and grow. Help us to open our hearts and minds to new ideas, new friends and leaders, and new ways of learning. Show us how to seek joy in all things. When things don’t go as planned, help us rejoice in the newness. When we have technical difficulties, help us rejoice in simple things like books and crayons. When we feel lonely or isolated, remind us that you are by our side . When our teachers and caregivers seem worried and wary, help them to be gentle with themselves. As we begin to explore the unknown of this school year, let us rejoice with new friends, in new ways of learning, in knowing that you are with us through it all. God of joy and light, pour out your blessing upon these students, families, teachers, and leaders. Bless their backpacks, Chromebooks and computers, virtual classrooms, school buildings, and all preparations that help build a strong and safe year for everyone. May each of you be a blessing and light in your new year! Go and light up the world! Amen. Blessing of the Back Packs (Pour out your spirit Lord) Song Let there be Peace on Earth UMH 431 Announcements Charge to us all To our families, students and school leaders: Go into the world, your schools, your homes and be Christ’s light! Let your lights not be diminished in the midst of change. Let them find ways to shine even brighter. Be the light of love to all. Be the light of patience when days are long, when technology does not work, when new ways of doing things are hard. Be the light to shine on new ideas and new ways of learning. Be thankful for the lights of others who work hard to create fun, engaging, and challenging ways to lead our students. Be the light of joy for a new school year, new friends, and new ways of learning. You are the light of the world! Go into the world and shine bright with kindness, patience, energy and love! Benediction Children’s Sermon Object: A measuring tape. Good morning, boys and girls. How tall are you? I mean, how tall is each one of you? Do you know how tall you are? (Speak to one child at a time.) How tall are you? Sometimes we know how tall we are and sometimes we just guess. But I brought with me this morning a measuring tape so I can tell you just how tall you are. Let me measure a couple of you now and after the service is over, if you would like for me to, I will measure every one of you. (Proceed to measure several of the children and tell each one how tall he/she is.) Have you always been that tall? Were you this big when you were born? How did you get to be as tall as you are? (Let them answer.) You grew. How much have you grown in the last year, would you say? (Let them answer.) Growing up is fun. It really is fun. Someday you are going to be as tall or taller than your mom and dad. You may weigh as much or even more. You will be big enough to drive a car, wear a suit as big as your father's suit or your mother's dress. You may even be tall enough to dunk a basketball in a 10-foot basket. That's what happens when our bodies grow and we get big. But there are other ways to grow besides just getting big in our bodies. When we learn in school, our minds grow. We can spell bigger words and do harder math problems. Our voices grow also. They get bigger, deeper, or higher, and they will become more beautiful if we practice with them. There is still another way to grow and that is to grow in love so that our love is more like Jesus' love. Jesus was filled with God's love. He loved everyone, even those who hated him. Jesus had a love so big that he could forgive even the people that crucified him. Growing in love will let you share the things you like the most with other people. You can share your time in love. You can share your money in love. You can share your games and your friends in love. You can even share your mother and dad with other people when you are growing in love. That is a real grown-up kind of love' when you can share it with others. Growing up is so much fun when it is filled with love. It allows you to be free and do what God wants you to do. A measuring tape is one way to find out how big we are getting. Three feet tall, four feet tall, five feet tall, or more means that we are eating the right kind of food and taking good care of our bodies. But growing up in love cannot always be seen so easily, but it is a much more important kind of growing than just getting tall. One of the first things that Jesus taught all of his disciples was to grow in love. And one of the things that you and I must find out who want to be followers of Jesus is to grow in love. The next time we see someone trying to find out how tall they are or to measure someone else, see if you can think about how you could measure someone growing in love. If you can see someone else grow in love, that means that you are growing in love as well. Try it, you'll like it. In Jesus' name, Amen. C.S.S. Publishing Company, ON THE MOVE WITH JESUS, by Wesley T. Runk Blessing of the back packs Additional illustrations Most young people know the artist, Chance the Rapper. Chance is one of the most successful artists in the music industry right now. He’s won a Grammy award, his concerts sell out, he is an anti-violence activist in the city of Chicago and has donated over $1 million to Chicago’s public school system. Professionally, he is a tremendous success. He tells an interesting story of his grandmother’s reaction to his career. In his early days, when he was first starting to experience some success, his grandmother took him aside and told him that she didn’t like the way his lifestyle was changing. She told him that she was going to pray for him. In an interview with GQ magazine, Chance shares his grandmother’s prayer. She prayed, “Lord, I pray that all things that are not like You, You take away from Chance. Make sure that he fails at everything that is not like You. Take it away. Turn it into dust.” What would you think if someone you loved prayed that prayer over you? What if I prayed over you today, “Lord, please let my brothers and sisters in Christ fail at any endeavor that is not perfectly within Your will”? Most of you would not come back next week, would you? I have the greatest respect for Chance’s grandmother. She cared more about her grandson’s soul than his success. She cared more about him knowing God and living in God’s will than she cared about offending him. What a powerful witness she is to the value of knowing God! And it was this prayer that led Chance the Rapper back into a relationship with God. Many of his song lyrics reflect his faith. At his sold-out concerts, he speaks about God and his spiritual journey. His phenomenal success now is rooted in knowing God and living in God’s will. (4) Like most wise folks, he knows that every moment of your life is an opportunity to know God and live in God’s will Two shoppers in a supermarket got in a fistfight over who should be first in a newly opened checkout lane. An airline flight returned to a major American city after a passenger was accused of throwing a can of beer at a flight attendant and biting a pilot. One father in an eastern state beat another father to death in an argument over rough play at their sons’ hockey practice. A high school baseball coach in the South turned himself in to face charges that he broke an umpire’s jaw after a disputed call. All these events were reported by USA Today over the span of just a few months. “Bad tempers are on display everywhere,” wrote reporter Karen S. Peterson. And who can doubt that it is true? The media is constantly reporting incidents of road rage, airplane rage, biker rage, surfer rage, grocery store rage, and rage at youth sporting events. This has led scientists to say the United States is in the middle of an anger epidemic. This epidemic rattles both those who study social trends and parents who fear the country is at a cultural precipice. (4) I Maybe you remember the old story about the guy who got into the bad habit of cursing all the time. Every time he got angry he let out a phrase that he should have kept to himself. After he had let out a tirade in the presence of his young son and his son echoed back some of his choice words, he decided he needed to get rid of this vile habit. He went to his pastor for help. His pastor said that every time you get angry why not try singing a hymn? That way you won’t express your anger in an inappropriate way. The young father said he would try this, “But,” he said, “I don’t know many hymns.” So the pastor gave him a hymn book to use, and the man took it and tried it. In a couple of weeks he came back to the pastor. The pastor said, “How are you doing?” The man said, “I’m doing pretty well.” The pastor said, “That’s great!” The man said, “There’s only one thing.” And the pastor said, “What’s that?” The man said, “I’m ready for a new hymn book.” There is a wonderful story that comes from the life of the great missionary Albert Schweitzer. A number of years ago on his way to Aspen, Colorado, Schweitzer changed trains in Chicago. As he was standing on the station platform he was being questioned by reporters. A woman carrying a heavy suitcase walked past. Immediately Dr. Schweitzer excused himself. He walked over to the lady, took the heavy suitcase from her and accompanied her to the car of the train she was boarding. Then he turned and walked on back to where the clustered group of reporters had been. They were no longer there. Seeing Albert Schweitzer’s helpfulness, they started looking for some lady with a heavy suitcase whom they might help on to a train, too.